One Fun Day!

Hi everyone! So yesterday we went to our first SOAD concert, and should I say it was the best concert ever!!!!!! We had so much fun! I probably rocked the whole time!!! This time instead of writing about it I decided to post a video. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did :) If you like my vlogs, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. Don't forget to comment :)

Dance Dance Revolution!

I have never felt as loved and cared for as I did yesterday at a friend's birthday party. After my pregnancy announcement on facebook most people were seeing us for the first time. Upon entering the restaurant everyone would come give us a hug and congratulate us saying how happy they were for us. It felt so great! We were like superstars :) As the party went on and everyone got up to dance, I also left my chair to join the others on the dance floor. I was so excited about that part of the party because I have so much passion for dancing! I can dance for days without ever wanting to stop :) The first dance was kind of slow, then mid-tempo, then it all began with the third dance! I was in the middle of it when someone whispered in my ear that I needed to take it easy. Then others started to call me to talk to me about the dangers of jumping around. I have massive education in pregnancy because I have been reading books about pregnancy and child-bearing since I was 15, took prenatal/postnatal classes at UCLA, have been doing research since we decided to conceive; so when they told me these ridiculous things about how "the baby is going to fall out of my uterus", I...let's just say I didn't laugh, because the person who told me that is someone I have so much love and respect for. I just told them that it was ok, that they should not worry because I knew what I was doing. I felt so touched though that there were so many overprotective people around me.Voicing their concerns and opinion about how I should take care of my pregnancy is completely fine with me. I have no problem with people worrying about me!!!!! Who doesn't love it, right? Concern equals love, and if I have that many people to love me, then I'm the richest person in the world! But when it gets to a point where someone almost grabs you mid-air and pulls you back...come on! Really?! It happened so many times I lost count! I'm dancing, having the time of my life, then next thing I know I'm in someone's arms who grabs me from my behind and gives me another lecture about how I should take it easy!... Let me describe how that made me feel. Everyone knows a girl like this: she is kind and smart and great and you all love her, but she changes 360 degrees when drunk. You love her so much you don't want her to do something stupid at a party, like get all over someone else's husband, so you are always next to her to make sure she doesn't embarrass herself in front of others. I felt like that girl yesterday, I swear! Another thing I felt was as if I was a 14 year old girl who thought that one becomes pregnant only when having intercourse during her period (she probably has a dog for a pet, lol, sadly there are so many uneducated teens like that!) and is suddenly surprised her tummy's getting bigger for no apparent reason! Now she knows she's pregnant, she goes to a party and wants to have the time of her life. Everyone's watching her on the dance floor to make sure the silly little one doesn't do anything irresponsible and uneducated again. Again, all that attention was so flattering but after telling them a couple of times that I didn't need to be babysat and still having to face the same thing over and over again...I guess I was just hurt at the lack of trust towards my good judgement :(
Let me bring up another interesting point :). Why is our worry and concern for others so much stronger when the responsibility lies exclusively on them? What I'm trying to say is...all that smoke in that little room was so much worse for my developing baby but no one seemed to be worried about that! I'm in no way saying I'm better than anyone else. If I were in their shoes I would act exactly the same. I would push the thought of a pregnant lady to the back of my mind not to feel guilty about smoking in the same room as her...I'm at a party, right? I'm here to have fun and be a little selfish! I get all that. I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone....All I'm saying is either care completely or not at all. You can't pick and choose! Jumping around and dancing is bad for my baby but a room full of smoke is fine?!
For those who don't have the proper knowledge about miscarriages, here's a tidbit of information from the American Pregnancy Association:

Why do miscarriages occur?
During the first trimester, the most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality - meaning that something is not correct with the baby's chromosomes. Most chromosomal abnormalities are the cause of a faulty egg or sperm cell, or are due to a problem at the time that the zygote went through the division process. Other causes for miscarriage include:

Hormonal problems, infections or maternal health problems
Lifestyle (i.e. smoking, drug use, malnutrition, excessive caffeine and exposure to radiation or toxic substances)
Implantation of the egg into the uterine lining does not occur properly
Maternal age
Maternal trauma

Also, to make everyone have the certainty that I am fine and nothing has happened to me or the baby, I'm going to see my OBGYN this week, but meanwhile I talked to one of my UCLA professors and described everything in detail and had quite a long conversation with her. She confirmed everything I already knew. She says I'm fine. I should listen to my body and unless my body tells me otherwise, I should not alter my lifestyle :) Thanks for worrying and caring so much about me but seriously I'm not a teenager, I know what I'm doing hehe :)))))))))))))
P.S. The most curious thing....I think I liked the whole experience yesterday 'cause if there is one thing I love to do is shock people and be controversial lol. I actually enjoyed being thought of as crazy lol!!!!!!!!! I know that this might not seem crazy or controversial to other cultures but Armenians are a little too overprotective about pregnancy.....
P.S.2 I've been smiling the whole time while writing this blog; there is no anger or hurt in it, just humor and some food for thought hehe. If my writing does not demonstrate that, I wanted to make sure that you knew and felt the happy vibe in it :)))))))

Baby Names & Baby Plans

I'm only on week 4, day 1 of my pregnancy, and my husband and I are already thinking baby names. If we have a boy we're probably going to name him Edward (that's his father's name). We always knew that we were going to name our boy Edward. We never had that kind of certainty with girl names though. He has always liked the name Mercedes. He wants to name our daughter Mercedes :) Really? I don't think so! On the other hand, every time I suggest a name, this is what he does: he brings both his palms close to his mouth and acts as if it's a microphone; then he "announces" with a coarse voice, "Give it up fooooor Alexaaaaaaa". If you still don't know what I'm talking about, he thinks the names I like are stripper names. loooool Anyways, today we both gave up on Mercedes and Alexa and looked at a list of popular and not-so-popular girl names. Here's what we like so far: Paris, Valerie, Madison, Mila, Natalie, Adriana, Lilian, Amelia, Mikaela, Gianna, Sierra, Valentina and Juliana. Such gorgeous names, aren't they?! I know it's too early to talk baby names but still, it's so much fun, and we simply can't resist the temptation :)
I think I am, little by little, getting used to the thought of being pregnant but it comes in waves. Most of the time I am extremely happy though. In the morning I wake up with such joy. It kind of resembles that feeling when you wake up the day after kissing someone for the first time. You suddenly remember that it happened, you smile and keep cherishing the memory. It's very much like that. Once I wake up I remember that I'm pregnant, I smile and keep planning and dreaming, etc., etc. I can't wait to know the sex of the baby so I can start shopping!!!! It will be so much fun!
I continue going to yoga, I finally got my husband to agree to go for an hour walk with me every day and I joined a gym today where there is a swimming pool! Yey! I heard swimming is really beneficial for both the mom and the baby!
What else?! OH! I don't think that since I'm pregnant now my blog is going to be devoted solely to pregnancy! No! I will do all kinds of blogs but I might just label them to make it easier for my readers to choose which blogs to or not to read :) On the other hand, what do you think about a monthly vlog (video blog) about pregnancy? Is it something you would be interested in?
P.S. Don't forget to vote for the name you liked the most :)

About Relationships, Divorce and Mind-Reading

This blog is devoted to relationships. A healthy relationship is one of the main ingredients of a happy life. A healthy relationship is not a given though, i.e. it does not just happen. I'm a firm believer that you have to work on it. But let me define what I mean by "work". If there is one I don't mean by it is trying to change someone. Yesterday I heard a girlfriend of mine tell her fiance, "I hope you know that you are not going to do that after we're married. Do what you want NOW, but I am not going to tolerate that behavior after we are married".  I always wonder at people who think that marriage is in some magical way going to solve their problems. Why do they think that putting their signature on a marriage license, gives them the power to radically change their significant others. I think that might be one of the reasons why so many marriages end in divorce. I was with my husband, then boy-friend, for a long time before I got married. And the reason I did so, was to get to know him and come to terms with his ways; to be sure that I can be happy with him just the way he is. I had to love his flaws as much as his strengths. And let me just put it out there...I don't mean to say that change is bad. Change is actually great when the person wants to change. But if the person has no intention of changing, and you are constantly trying to push him/her to change, it means that you don't want that person. You don't love that person...you want someone else that isn't him or her. Your marriage license does not enable you to "mold" a person...and when you finally realize that, one of two things happens: you either end up living with that person without being happy or you get a divorce. So if you don't think you can be  happy with that person just the way he/she is then why even commit?!
Another thing that can make or break a relationship is the goal. For a relationship to be healthy and happy you need to make marriage as your goal not your wedding. (For those who never legally commit, living with someone should be the goal not moving in with him/her). You have to work on your marriage every single day! It is going to seem like I am expressing conflicting ideas here but just hear me out. By work, (among other things) I mean talking with each other. I think communication is the key to a healthy relationship! It is never good to hold things inside. Sometimes what you might think was the worst thing your significant other did might turn out to be the best thing he/she ever did when talked about it from his/her perspective. Instead of pulling your hair out and spending sleepless nights over it, you should talk about it. You might disagree but at least you know where he/she was coming from. Some people collect so many things inside over the years and never talk about them that one day they realize that they don't even love their partner any more. When trying to figure out why their love disintegrated and their relationship fell apart they are left with no answer. And here's why: while minor incidents are long forgotten, the anger and hurt and disappointment you felt when they happened stay with you, and over time they turn into indifference, contempt and sometimes hatred. It doesn't have to be that way. If people pay attention to small things as they happen and solve them, it won't get to a point of no return. A little rain never gets anyone's attention but a hurricane gets everyone's attention. You don't have to hire a divorce lawyer before you ask your significant other, "Where did we go wrong?" Instead, if you don't like something, right at that moment ask, "What am I doing wrong? Is there anything I did to hurt your feelings?" or "You know, I did not like the way you talked to me in front of so and so today". Always talk calm though, never confront a person but rather show them how eager you are to hear their point of view. Hear them, don't just listen! Try to understand what they are really saying. If you don't agree, express your point of view without screaming or in the worst case leaving the room and throwing a you-know-what-I'm-done at him/her. Disagreeing and agreeing are both good as long as you really hear each other out. (Thanks to communication, both my husband  and I have changed so much throughout years. However, we have never forced the other person to make that change. We have done that at will, after hearing each other out). You have to consider that you are two different people, you have had two different life experiences, you have grown up in two different families, and now you are making  one taking all that with you! We often expect people to act as we would in a given situation, but how you would act under circumstances is not necessarily how another person would! As I already said, we really are different people! Once I had an AHA! moment when my husband said, "I'm not a mind-reader, you know! If you wanted me to do that why didn't you just tell me so?" If you want something, ask! Do not expect it to naturally happen! If it does, great! But if not, it is not a shame to ask, right? None of us is a mindreader really!
What do you think? I would love to hear from you.

About My Daddy: The kid inside...

It was my father's 60th birthday today, and I decided to dedicate today's blog to him. There is so much to tell about my father. He really is an extraordinary person. He is kind, loving, caring, adventurous, loves life and everything it has to offer. There is so little he needs to be happy. I can't say he has been the best father to me or my siblings but he really is an extraordinary person. The reason he hasn't been the best father is not because he didn't want to but because he didn't know better. He was brought up without a father, and I think he never actually learned how to father himself. He has very high expectations of his children even when he didn't try his best to deserve their love and respect. He, like many other parents of his generation, thinks that his children "owe" him one way or another. I think he has changed throughout years though. He used to drink and when he was drunk, I despised being in his company. He was not abusive, NO! He never emotionally, physically or verbally abused anyone. He's way too kind for that. However, he would turn into this completely different person who I could never have respect for. He would talk about these irrational, immature and selfish things to which my reaction would be, "Is he serious, he can't POSSIBLY be serious!". There was a time in my life where I had to live with him for 3 years and that was the time when he turned from my best friend to a person who I almost despised. That was also the time when I realized that no matter how much I loved him and wanted him in my life, I could not EVER live with him... He drank heavily during that time too so I think that was the reason why our relationship transformed so dramatically during that period. One night I had to run away to my aunt's house at 3 AM in the morning because him and his lover (who had no sense of proper behavior whatsoever) almost emotionally killed me with their selfishness. Throughout my childhood and up until my late teens I ADORED him!!!! He meant EVERYTHING to me. He was my BEST friend...My high school years were filled with excruciating pain because of my peers and if it wasn't for him I might not have survived it. Actually not MIGHT, I WOULDN'T have survived it! Anything bad that happened...I knew I could go to him, and only minutes after our conversation I would feel light again. So it was painful to see how our relationship digressed during the time my mother was away. When my family finally reunited our relationship improved a little but it was nothing like before. My parents ended up getting a divorce, and I saw my father only once in a while and even that was more for the sake of habit than anything else. He was now completely alone...my brother didn't want anything to do with him, my sisters had had enough, and I was the only person who talked to him. One day I saw him and he was sober and he was so sad!!!! I said, "Dad, what's the matter?", and he told me how he had been thinking about how much he had hurt his children and how guilty he felt. He told me about the conversation he had had with my oldest sister and how he thought he had hurt her. I asked him if he was drunk when he talked to her and he nodded. I said, "Dad, alcohol is ruining your relationship with everyone, don't you understand that? I don't know how much longer I can handle it myself. You need to stop before you have lost everyone that matters. I don't LIKE you as a human being when you are drunk...you turn into this extremely selfish person and you need to do something about it". I didn't see my father for three whole months after that. The next time I saw him, he opened his wallet and gave me a gift...the best gift I have ever gotten!!! It was an alcoholics anonymous chip for three months. My father had been sober for three whole months! He has been sober for 3 YEARS now!

I wrote a status message in facebook today congratulating him (he's not on facebook, though:) and my oldest sister "liked" it. I got so happy and I told my father today that she says happy birthday. His eyes got so sad and happy at the same time. He said, "I wish she could see how much I have changed. I wish the day will come when she will forgive me because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have made this radical change to my life. She was my wake-up call, and I have to thank her for every sober day I live...".

I hope he will continue his commitment to sobriety, and that one day we can all live happily ever after :) But for everyone to come around, I think we need a little more time :) I just wish it's not too late. I love you daddy!

Who Am I?

I always feel like I have so much to say but there is no outlet for me to really let these thoughts out. I've been thinking about blogging for a long time and actually attempted to open one a couple of times but never actually did. I think the reason was because I was trying to do it for others, that is to entertain or inform others. I suppose the reason I did it this time is because I am doing it for myself. I hope that this blog will help me figure out who I am and what I want. I'm pretty confused right now and I truly hope that it will be of therapeutic significance to me.

If I had to describe myself in two words I would probably choose the following, "a professional worry-er". :) Sometimes I feel like the weight of the whole world is on my shoulders. And it is not because I live a life full of problems. Some would even describe my life as carefree, and they might be right. I have the greatest husband, I got my education at one of the most prestigious universities in the United States, I have parents who love me, I travel multiple times a year, I have not felt the devastating effects of current recession ....overall my life really IS care free...but there is another side to my carefree life that is not "available" to others...and I use the word "available" in the meaning that some just don't get it...I wish I could describe what THAT is but I can't because there is just so much to say and not enough room to write hehe. I guess I'll get it out throughout multiple blogs. Until then....bye-bye :)